心第一更重要的事情|做对的事情比把事情做对更重要
时间：2019-04-22 03:20:40 来源：柠檬阅读网 本文已影响 人 
去朋友家做客，正赶上朋友在训斥孩子。我第一次看到他发那么大的火，额头上青筋暴起，脸色紫涨，气呼呼的样子，有点吓人。 太意外了。在我的印象里，朋友是一个优雅沉稳的人，遇事不急不躁，处变不惊，待人宽容和蔼。我曾亲眼看到一个外乡人挤车的时候在他的脚上踩了一下，那可是一双崭新的皮鞋，朋友也只是大度地笑笑而已。为什么对自己的孩子他竟然会如此失态，发如此大的火？
问及才知，朋友的孩子这次期中考试又没考好，不但离他预想的班级第一、年级前五十的成绩相距甚远，而且比平常的成绩还下滑了一大截。朋友忍无可忍，终于大发雷霆：“念小学的时候，还能考个班级第一。上了中学以后，不但保持不了第一，而且成绩越来越差，这样下去怎么能考上重点高中？考不上重点高中，还能考进好的大学吗？念不成好的大学，将来到哪儿找工作？最重要的是，一点荣辱心都没有，争取第一才是一个学生最重要的事情。”
朋友的孩子是一个十三四岁的青葱少年，文弱、白净，鼻梁上架着一副眼镜。他放下手里的书，看了朋友一眼，说：“第一不是最重要的，快乐才是最重要的。”
如此掷地有声的话不禁令我刮目相看，谁知朋友渐欲平息的怒气又被激起，他拍案而起：“现在的孩子只注重自我感受，根本没有吃苦耐劳、拼搏向上的精神，争第一有什么不好？这么点儿想法都没有，将来能做好什么？”
那个孩子有些委屈，放下手里正看的书，很平静地说：“别发火，有碍健康。不是我不想争第一，谁不想做最好、最优秀的人？说不想那是自欺欺人或者大脑短路，可是根本不可能人人都拿第一。您也看到了，我每天晚上11点半睡觉，早晨5点半起床，除了学习还是学习。我已经很努力了，可是我的成绩仍是平平，在班级里只居中等。我接受这个现实。因为这个现实，平常我尽可能不惹您和妈妈生气，努力给你们温暖和关爱，比如帮你们打打洗脚水，提醒你们吃早餐等，以弥补我不能实现你们给我定的目标所带给你们的失望。第一除了和后天努力有关，也和先天资质有关，您总不能逼着一只羊像鸟一样飞翔吧？”
少年说完，并不看我们，拿起书进了另外一间屋子，剩下我和朋友面面相觑。当快乐和“第一”摆在一起的时候，相信很多人都会对“第一”情有独钟。可是偏偏“第一”是个有点极端的词，注定只是少数人的少数行为，为什么我们总是极端地要求孩子拿第一？看着孩子健康快乐地成长，难道那不是孩子给父母的最好的礼物吗？
快乐是心底开出来的花朵，当快乐盛开的时候，请不要连根拔起，给快乐留一个怒放的空间。生活中，很多人都苛求完美，只是完美是一个很难达到的高度。在这个世界上，还有很多事情比第一更重要，比如健康快乐地成长，比如幸福地生活……
I paid a visit to one of my friends when he was scolding his child. For the first time I saw him so furious that his forehead became blue-veined and his face wore a sour, puce look. It frightened me.
I was astonished. In my memory, he was a well-mannered and sedate breed, who could keep poised in an emergency and treat others leniently and amiably. I saw him just giving a magnanimous smile after a stranger coming to the city trod on his brand-new leather shoes when squashing into the bus. I wondered why he had such a lapse and was so wrathful to his own child.
After asking my friend, I learned that in the mid-term exams his child failed again to get satisfactory marks, unexpectedly falling far behind not only the first place in the class or the top 50 in the grade but also his previous exam results. My friend was beyond endurance and enraged, “In primary school, you were able to come out first in the class; after getting into the secondary school, you’ve not only failed to remain so but also got worse and worse exam results. At such a rate, how can you enter a key senior high school? If you cannot enter a key school, can you enter a good university? If you fail to enter a good university, how can you find a well-paid job in the future? Above all, you have no sense of shame at all. It’s the student’s most important duty to compete for the first place.” My friend’s child was a bespectacled boy in his early teens. He had a gentle, weak constitution and a fair, clean complexion. He put down the book and took a look at his father, saying, “What’s most important is not the first place but happiness.”
I couldn’t help sitting up after hearing what he had said in such an extremely firm tone. Yet, to my surprise, it raised the ire of my friend, who had gradually simmered down. He pounded the table and said, “Today’s children pay all attention to their own feelings and aren’t a tough, positive breed at all. Is there anything wrong with competing for the first place? Without such an idea in the mind, you will end up as a loser in the future.”
The child felt wronged. He put down the book he was reading and said very calmly, “Don’t get angry, or it’s bad to your health. It’s not that I have no desire for the first place. Everyone wants to be the best. Whoever says he doesn’t want to is a liar or has something wrong with his brain, but it’s impossible at all for everyone to get the first place. You’ve seen that every night I go to sleep at 11:30 and get up at 5:30 the next morning. My whole life is occupied with learning. I’ve tried my best but can only get exam results average in the class. I face up to the reality, and due to it, in ordinary times I try not to upset you and Mom at all and try hard to give you two love and care. For example, I fetch water for you to wash the feet and remind you to have breakfast, so as to compensate your disappointment at my failure to achieve the goal you set for me. Besides the efforts, the first place has something to do with aptitudes. You cannot urge a sheep to fly like a bird, can you?”
After airing his grievance, the boy didn’t have a look at us, but took up his book and retired to another room, leaving my friend and me looking at each other in surprise. When happiness and “the first place” are placed together, many people may prefer the latter. But “the first place” as a term is extreme in meaning; it’s destined that only a few can achieve it occasionally. How come we always drive our children awfully to get the first place? It’s a best gift for the parents to see their children grow up healthy and happy, isn’t it?
Happiness is a flower at the bottom of our heart. When it is in blossom, please don’t uproot it but spare room for its prime. In life, many people are too anxious for perfection, but it is a crest they can hardly reach. In the world, many things are more important than the first place, such as growing up robust and joyful and living happily.
