互联网――丘比特的新神箭 丘比特的神箭
时间：2019-01-08 03:15:33 来源：柠檬阅读网 本文已影响 人 
自从各大电视台纷纷推出形式各异但目标一致的电视相亲节目，本来已经备受关注的“剩男剩女”问题更是引起社会热议。无论你是小小年纪，还是“被剩下”或是早已“脱光”，似乎每周不看看《非诚勿扰》、没听见身边的人谈论某人又去相亲了就感觉生活缺少了什么。如今，日益增长的年龄和不断提高的现实要求已经成了社会男女寻找伴侣的基本矛盾，于是各种各样的“红娘服务”逐渐红火起来。其中最有效的一种方式当属网络相亲了：输入年龄、学历等各种要求，便能搜索出成百上千个对象任你选择，许多婚恋网站还提供配对服务呢。如此人性化的自主选择，怎能不受欢迎呢？现在又到了一年一度的情人节，虽然同学们谈情尚早，但也不妨适当了解，说不上哪天能给身边的单身大哥哥、大姐姐帮上忙呢！
Host: A question: How did you meet your romantic
partner? Friends have long been society’s top
1)matchmakers, with help from parents and co-workers, but they’re all 2)losing ground to the Internet. A new study finds nearly a quarter of couples meet online.
Jennifer Ludden reports, the Web may soon
become the number one way Americans find a mate.
Technology hasn’t shaken up the dating scene this much since the invention of the telephone. But Michael Rosenfeld of Stanford University says even that doesn’t compare.
Rosenfeld: The telephone made it easier to be in contact, but only really with the people you
already knew. That is, you wouldn’t pick up the phone and call somebody you didn’t know, it would be awkward.
But Rosenfeld says those connecting online are most often complete strangers, not even friends of friends. Though, of course, dating sites reveal a great deal about them.
Nicole Adams: You know level of income, life goals, interests, likes, dislikes.
Nicole Adams is a 35-year-old psychologist in New York and has been dating online while going through a divorce.
Adams: You also kind of want to 3)weed out the real... (laughs) crazy people, for lack of a better term.
Sure, she says, people used to trust family and friends to consider all that and come up with a good match.
Adams: But nobody really, really knows what I like, except me.
Adams says she appreciates being able to reach out to people she’d never encounter in her own social circles, including those from different religions
and 4)ethnicities. Then she says there is this very
practical aspect: Web dating saves a lot of time.
Adams says if she does meet someone through friends or family, even if sparks don’t fly, she’s more likely to suffer through a few more datesand let him down gently.
Adams: Whereas online dating, you don’t have any of that pressure. If you meet him and something happens to him…next. Thanks a lot, it’s been real.
Ouch. But the smaller the pool of potential partners,
the more important those Web contacts may be.
Researcher Rosenfeld found a 5)whopping 61% of same-sex couples meet online.
Rosenfeld: So the Internet is friend to everybody who is looking for something that’s hard to find. And that’s true whether you’re looking for parts for a ’57 Chevy or a
partner who has some 6)attributes that are uncommon.
On the other hand, a recent Duke University study finds online daters are 7)disproportionately white and well-educated; partly because fewer minorities注 have a computer at home. But that study also predicted
Web-dating will continue to grow, as online access
expands and successful couples 8)spread the word.
Stanford University’s Rosenfeld says it’s all 9)easing a social 10)stigma.
Rosenfeld: It used to be that people who met online had a separate story that they thought was more 11)palatable. It seemed a little 12)seedy and 13)unseemly, and for some reason people used to think that it was more 14)upstanding to say I met them at a bar.
Bars, by the way, along with restaurants and other public areas are still the third most likely place for
couples to meet. Although Rosenfeld says when you speak to people, it turns out many met there after first encountering each other online.
主持人：问大家一个问题：你是如何遇到
自己的意中人的呢？朋友一直是社交圈里的最佳红娘，另外还有父母亲和同事，但如今他们都要让位于互联网了。一项新研究发现，
接近四分之一的夫妻都是在互联网上认识的。
詹妮弗・勒登报道说，互联网或许很快就会成为美国人寻找伴侣的首选方法。
自从电话诞生以来，还没有哪项科技能为约会领域带来如此之大的影响。不过（美国）斯坦福大学的迈克尔・罗森菲尔德教授说，即便如此，电话也无法与互联网相媲美。
罗森菲尔德：电话使人们更方便地互相联络，但那只局限于和相识的人联系。也就是说，你不会拿起电话，打给陌生人，那样会很尴尬。
但罗森菲尔德说，那些在互联网上联系的人几乎是毫不相干的，甚至连朋友的朋友都不是。不过，当然了，约会网站倒是透露了不少他们的信息。
妮可・亚当斯：你能了解到他们的收入水平、人生目标、兴趣爱好、喜欢什么、不喜欢什么。
妮可・亚当斯是纽约市一位35岁的心理学家，她在离婚期间一直在网上约会。
亚当斯：你多多少少希望能够剔除那些真正的……（大笑）疯子，想不到更好的词来形容他们了。
当然，她说，人们以前都相信家人和朋友会考虑到这一切，然后介绍一个相衬的
对象。
亚当斯：不过除了我自己之外，没有人真正知道我喜欢什么。
亚当斯说，她很高兴有机会接触到在自己的社交圈里从未遇见过的人，包括那些拥有不同宗教和来自不同种族的人。接着，她说这还有一个非常实际的方面：网上约会能节省很多时间。
亚当斯说，如果她确实经由朋友或家人介绍认识了某个人，即使没能擦出火花，她也还是会忍耐着，多约会几次，以便委婉地拒绝他。
亚当斯：但是对于在线约会，你没有任何压力。如果你见过他以后觉得有什么不对头……换下一个。谢天谢地，现实就是如此。
哎哟。但潜在伴侣的选择范围越小，或许网络联络就越重要。研究员
罗森菲尔德发现，多达61%的同性伴侣都是在互联网上相识的。
罗森菲尔德：对于每一个正在寻找某样稀少之物的人来说，互联网是一个好帮手。无论你正在为一辆1957年产的雪佛兰找零部件，还是寻找一个有着与众不同特质的伴侣都是同理。
从另一方面看，（美国）杜克大学最近的一项研究发现，在线约会的人比例严重不均，多为受过良好教育的白人；部分原因是家里有电脑的社会少数群体人数相对较少。但那项研究也预言，网上约会的人数将会继续上涨，因为上网的途径越来越多，而且约会成功的伴侣也会四处宣传。
斯坦福大学的罗森菲尔德教授说，这倒是减轻了一种社会偏见。
罗森菲尔德：在过去，那些在互联网上相识的人通常会编一个不同的故事，因为他们认为这样会更受认可。在网上约会似乎有一点不光彩，容易遭人非议，所以不知为何，人们总觉得说自己是在酒吧相遇会更理直气壮些。
顺便说一句，酒吧和餐厅以及其他公共场所仍然是最有可能遇到伴侣的第三宝地。不过，罗森菲尔德说，当你与这些人交谈时，你会发现原来他们当中不少人是先在网上认识，然后才去那里会面的。
