Ｆｕｎｎｙ　Ｔａｌｋｓ|FunnyElves

时间：2019-01-07 03:23:59　来源：柠檬阅读网本文已影响人

　　A 　　Lady: Don’t be afraid of the dog. You know the old proverb,“A barking dog never bites.”(谚语:吠犬不咬人。)
　　Sam: You know the proverb. I know the proverb. But does your dog know the proverb?
　　B
　　Diner: Bring me some soup and make sure a fly isn’t in it. Yesterday there was a fly in my soup.
　　Waiter: Oh that can’t happen today, sir, because our special(特色菜)is frogs’(蛙)legs.
　　Diner: What’s today’s special have to do with a fly in my soup?
　　Waiter: Before the chef(厨师)cooked the frogs, they ate every fly in the place.
　　C
　　Traveler: Can I catch the three o’clock train to Paris?
　　Ticket agent(代售人): That depends on how fast you can run. It left fifteenminutes ago.
　　D
　　Teacher(to pupil who is an hour late): Tommy!You should have been(本应该)here an hour ago.
　　Tommy: Why? What happened?
　　E
　　Teacher: If I gave you two apples and told you to give one to your brother, would you give him the little one or the big one?
　　Bad: Do you mean my little brother or my big brother?
　　F
　　Jeff: Today, on the school bus, a little boy fell off his seat, and everybody laughed except me.
　　Teacher: Who was the little boy?
　　Jeff: Me.
　　G
　　Grandpa Smith: My left leg is killing(使痛苦)me.
　　Mr Bufford: It must be old age.
　　Grandpa: Can’t be. My right leg is just as old as my left one, and it doesn’t hurt a bit.
　　H
　　Woodward: Do you make up(虚构)these jokes yourself?
　　Woodhead: Yes, out of my head.
　　Woodward: You must be.
　　注:out of ①出于,从……里面;②缺乏,没有。
　　I
　　Nurse: There’s a man outside with a wooden leg named Smity.
　　Doctor: What’s the name of his other leg?
　　J
　　Danny: Did the doctor treat you yesterday?
　　Sammy: No, he charged(收费)me twenty dollars.
　　注:treat有两个含义:①治病;②招待。
　　K
　　Patient: Doctor, if a person’s brain stops working, does he die?
　　Doctor: How can you ask such a stupid question!You’re alive, aren’t you?
　　L
　　Davy: This dog of mine is a police dog.
　　Dana: He doesn’t look like a police dog.
　　Davy: I know, he is in the secret service(谍报或特工部门).
　　M
　　Lady: My pet(宠物)is sick. Can you recommend(推荐、介绍)a good animal doctor?
　　Nurse: I’m sorry, lady, all of the doctors I know are people.
　　注:对animal doctor可有两种理解:①动物医生,②给动物治病的医生即兽医。
　　N
　　Mother: Tommy!Tommy!Why don’t you answer me?
　　Tommy: I did. I shook my head.
　　Mother: Well, you didn’t expect me to hear it rattle(发出格格声;喋喋不休)all the way in the next room, did you?

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