and Ｊｏｋｅｓ ａｎｄ Ｈｕｍｏｒ
时间：2019-01-11 03:23:11 来源：柠檬阅读网 本文已影响 人 
What is motherland? Teacher: Jack, what is motherland? Please tell me. Jack: Motherland is my mother.
Teacher: Very good. Tom, can you tell me what motherland is?
Tom: Sir, motherland is Jack’s mother.
祖国是什么?
老师:杰克,请告诉我,祖国是什么?
杰克:祖国是我的母亲｡
老师:很好｡汤姆,你能告诉我祖国是什么吗?
汤姆:先生,祖国是杰克的母亲｡
Who discovered Australia?
Teacher: Find Australia on the map for me, Johnny.
Johnny: It’s here, sir.
Teacher: That’s right. Now, Sammy, who discovered Australia?
Sammy: Johnny, sir.
谁发现了澳洲?
老师:约翰尼,在地图上找出澳洲在什么地方?
约翰尼:老师,在这里｡
老师:答对了｡萨米,请告诉我,是谁发现了澳洲?
萨米:老师,是约翰尼｡
The Accident
Tom: A stone hit my hat yesterday and I didn’t feel at all.
Peter: That’s impossible. How come?
Tom: Because I lent my hat to my friend yesterday.
意外事故
汤姆:昨天一块石头砸在我的帽子上,可我一点感觉都没有｡
彼得:那不可能｡怎么回事?
汤姆:因为昨天我把帽子借给我的朋友了｡
A Penny
A poor man entered a doctor’s consulting-room. He looked very unhappy.
“Doctor,” he said, “you must help me. I swallowed a penny about a month ago.”
“Good heavens, man!” said the doctor. “Why have you waited so long? Why didn’t you come to me on the day you swallowed it?”
“To tell you the truth, Doctor,” the poor man replied, “I didn’t need the money so badly then.”
一便士
一个穷人走进一位大夫的诊所｡他满脸忧愁｡
“大夫,”他说道,“您一定得帮帮我啊｡大约在一个月前,我把一枚一便士给吞进肚里去了”｡
“天哪!伙计｡”大夫说道,“你怎么耽搁这么久呢?你吞下它时怎么不来找我呢?”
穷人答道:“大夫,实话跟您说吧｡当时我还并不急着用这钱呢!”
An Entrance Examination
A young man wanted to study in a conservatory of music. In an oral test, the teacher asked him, “What is the most important physiological quality of a musician?”
“To be deaf,” replied the young man. “Nonsense!” said the teacher angrily.
“Sir! The most famous musician Beethoven was deaf, don’t you know?”
入学考试
一个青年想考音乐学院｡在一次口试中,教师问他:“音乐家最重要的生理素质是什么?”
“耳聋｡”年轻人回答说｡“胡说八道,”教师生气地说｡
“先生!大名鼎鼎的音乐家贝多芬就是个聋子啊!难道你不知道吗?”
Drunk
A drunk fell out of the upstairs window of a drinking pub. Pushing his way through the crowd that quickly gathered, a policeman asked, “What’s happened?”
“Don’t ask me,” groaned the drunk, “I’ve only just got here.”
醉鬼
一个醉鬼从酒吧楼上的窗户跌了下来｡一位警察推开纷纷围过来的人群,挤进去问道:“出了什么事?”
“别问我,”醉鬼含糊地说,“我也刚到这儿｡”
Boy and Cake
A train stopped at a small station. A passenger looked out of the window and saw a woman who was selling cakes. The gentleman wanted to buy a cake, but the woman was standing rather a long way from the carriage.
The gentleman didn’t want to go for the cake himself, so he called a little boy who was on the platform near the carriage and asked him, “How much does a cake cost?” “Three pence, sir,” answered the boy. The gentleman gave him six pence and said to him, “Bring me a cake and with the other three pence buy one for yourself.”
A few minutes later the boy came back. He was eating a cake. He gave the gentleman three pence change and said, “There was only one cake left, sir.”
男孩和饼
一列火车停在一个小站上｡一位乘客从车窗往外看,见到一个卖烤饼的女人｡这位先生想买个饼,但那女人站在离车厢相当远的地方｡
这位先生不想自己去买,于是他叫住站台上一个靠近车厢的小男孩,向他打听说:“一块烤饼多少钱?” “三便士,先生,”男孩回答说｡乘客给男孩六便士,吩咐他:“替我买个饼来,另外三便士就给你自己买一个吧｡”
几分钟后男孩回来了,他吃着一个饼,还给乘客三便士,对他说:“只剩下一个了,先生｡”
