如何维系友谊【如何维系最好的友谊】
时间：2019-01-08 03:23:30 来源：柠檬阅读网 本文已影响 人 
Losing a pet is rough, but breaking up with your best friend can be much more traumatizing[受创伤]. Find out how to deal when your best friendship becomes totally jeopardized[危害的].
失去一只宠物的感觉很难受，但要是跟你最好的朋友断绝关系，则可能给你带来更大的精神创伤。当你们的友谊陷入危机时，你该如何处理呢？
Is your friendship vulnerable[脆弱的]? 你俩的友谊是否不堪一击？
1. The two of you argue more than you agree.
true false
2. Lately, your interests and priorities[优先权] are different.
true false
3. One of you did something to hurt the other on purpose[故意].
true false
4. You aren’t sure if you can trust your BFF注.
true false
5. You guys no longer tell each other everything.
true false
6. There’s some unfriendly competition between the two of you.
true false
Scoring得分
If you answered “true”to three or more questions, your friendship might be in trouble.
如果你的答案中“对”的选项有3个以上（含3个），你们的友谊就可能出问题了。
Why friendships end 为什么友谊会终止
Just like any relationship, best friendships depend on trust, commitment[承诺], respect and compatible[一致的] likes/dislikes. When any of these elements is missing, it can put a strain[紧张] on the friendship. It stings when you feel betrayed[出卖] by a pal[伙伴], and if the trust is totally broken, you may not be able to forgive him/her. Sometimes a friendship ends because either you or your bud[伙伴] gets tired of putting energy into it. This can happen when one of you finds a new pal or even a new hobby that takes up tons of time. Or, perhaps you realized the relationship has always been competitive in an unhealthy way and you want some distance. Other times, you simply change and grow apart[分离]. Sure, it seems sad at the time, but it’s completely normal. The bottom line is when two best friends don’t change and grow together, their relationship can be put to the test, and not all friendships are meant to last forever. So, what should you do if something like this happens to you? Read on for some friendly advice.
与其他关系一样，最好的友谊是建立在彼此的信任、承诺、尊重及共同的喜好基础之上的。当缺少当中的任何一种元素，友谊都可能变紧张，比如当你感觉被同伴出卖的时候。如果你俩不再信任对方，你或许不能原谅他（她）。有的时候，一段友谊的结束是因为你或你的伙伴不愿意投入精力去维系它。这可能出现在当你们中的一个找到了新朋友，或者有了某种新的爱好，需要投入许多时间的时候。也可能是你意识到这段友谊一直在不健康的互相攀比下发展，你需要和朋友保持距离。另外一些时候就是你俩都变了，要分道扬镳。当然，分开的一刻是令人伤心的，但这完全合乎情理。关键是如果两个最好的朋友没有改变，一起成长，他们的友谊也可能要经受考验，并不是所有的友谊都能永远维持下去。那么，如果这种事情发生在你身上，你会怎么做呢？继续读下去，你会找到一些友善的忠告。
What to do?怎么做……�
如果是你终止了这段友谊
Whatever the reason you’re breaking up with your best friend, always remember that s/he was once super important to you ?unless s/he did something so disgusting[令人厌恶的] that you truly never want to speak to him/her again. Take the time to sit down privately and tell him/her what’s going on and why. Don’t send him/her a nasty e-mail or just start ignoring him/her. Chances are s/he knows there’s a problem and would be relieved[放心的] to have a heart-to-heart chat. If you’re not sure about wanting a permanent[永久的] end, you could suggest the two of you take a break from each other. If, after a while, you guys realize why you were best buds in the first place, you can try getting back to your former attached-at-the-hip status. Whatever you do, be honest about your feelings while having respect for his/hers. And if you both agree the BFF thing is over, make a pact[协议] not to be enemies.
无论是什么原因令你与自己最好的朋友断绝关系，你一定要记住他（她）曾经对你非常重要―除非他（她）做了些令人厌恶的事情让你真的永远不想再跟他（她）说话。否则，你要找个时间跟他（她）单独坐下并告诉他（她）你俩的友谊出现了什么问题，你为什么不跟他（她）做朋友了。不要发一封恶意的电子邮件或者不理睬别人。他（她）可能早知道这段友谊出了问题，很乐意跟你促膝谈心。如果你不确定是否要永远终止这段友谊，你可以跟你的伙伴建议分开一段时间。假如过了一段时间，你俩明白了彼此一开始成为好朋友的原因何在，你们可以尝试恢复以前亲密无间的关系。无论你怎样处理，都要开诚布公并尊重对方。假如你俩都同意终止这段友谊，就要承诺日后不要视对方为敌。
如果你被抛弃了
Your friend might have started ignoring you, acting mean or canceling plans for no reason. When this happens, s/he may be trying to break the connection with you. If you don’t want the friendship to end, ask him/her what’s going on. Find out what’s bugging[打绕] him/her and see if you guys can fix the problem. Try not to argue about who was right or wrong. Instead, agree to really listen ?no interruptions and especially no insults[侮辱]. Language like, “You’re so selfish!”is a personal attack. Make your point in a less abrasive[恼人的] manner, like, “I feel like you weren’t really thinking about me when that happened.”If your pal still isn’t speaking to you, refuses to take your calls or doesn’t return your e-mails, there’s nothing you can do but move on and find new friends.
你的朋友可能开始不理睬你了，对你的态度尖刻或者无缘无故取消约会。如果发生了这些事情，就意味着他（她）可能要与你中断关系。如果你不想这段友谊终止，问一下你的朋友发生了什么事情，找出是什么令他（她）烦扰不休，看看你俩能否一起解决问题。不要争吵谁对谁错，相反，要乐于听取对方的意见―不中断对方讲话，尤其不要侮辱对方，如“你真自私！”这样的言语便是人身攻击。把你的观点以柔和一点的方式表达出来，如“那件事发生的时候，我觉得你真的没有为我着想。”如果你的朋友依然不跟你说话，不接你的电话或者不回复你的电子邮件，你就没有什么可以做的了，你惟有继续生活，去寻找新朋友。
结识新朋友
One of the weirdest things about hanging out with someone new is that s/he is not your best friend. The shorthand[速记] you guys developed is gone, the inside jokes you shared and the finishing each other’s sentences are history. It may be scary to approach people you don’t know very well and strike up conversations, or even to make plans to hang out with a new friend, but you’ve gotta be brave and just do it. It may feel a bit lonely at first, but it’s also an exciting time because you’re getting to know new people and find out if you’re compatible with each other. Soon you’ll have inside jokes and easy conversation.
与新朋友在一起时，最奇怪的感觉就是他（她）并不是你最好的朋友―与好朋友创造的速记符号已成过去，你俩的秘密笑话已成历史；你刚开口，对方就知道你想说什么的那种默契不会再有。要跟自己不太熟悉的人聊天，甚至计划约新朋友出去玩，这都可能使你感到有点可怕，但你要大胆一点，做你想做的。一开始你会感到有点寂寞，但这也是个令人兴奋的时刻，因为你正慢慢认识你的新朋友，看看你俩是否互相适合对方。很快你俩就会有秘密笑话和随意的交谈了。
