幽默与笑话_笑破你肚子的笑话30个
时间：2019-01-06 03:33:13 来源：柠檬阅读网 本文已影响 人 
A A colleague told me about the day he went to his high school reunion：“My wife and I walked in the door，and a man I didn’t recognize started hugging me, saying how happy he was to see me. When I confessed that I didn’t know him, he said：“I don’t know you either, but until you came I was the only baldest man here!”
Notes：colleague同事；reunion重逢聚会；hug拥抱；confess表明；bald秃头的
B
Answering a knock at my front door, I found a boy selling newspaper subscriptions. I agreed to take one and left him in the entrance hall while I filled out a form. When I finished, the boy thanked me. “You’re a bachelor, aren’t you?”He added.“Yes,”I replied.“How did you know?”
“Because,”he answered,“your living room looks like my bedroom.”
Notes：subscriptions报纸订单；fill out a form填写订单；bachelor单身汉
C
Once a Frenchman went to a post office in England with a letter in his hand. He bought a stamp, then with the letter he handed them to the girl behind the counter.
“Stamp it on yourself!”said the girl.
“Must I stamp it on myself? I want to post the letter,”the man was puzzled and said.
“You must stamp it on the letter and do it yourself,”the girl shouted.
Notes：counter柜台；puzzled迷惑不解的
D
Several weeks after a young man had been hired, he was called into the personnel director’s office.“What is the meaning of this?”the director asked.“When you applied for the job, you told us you had five years’ experience. Now we discover this is the first job you ever held.”
“Well,”the young man said,“in your advertisement you said you wanted somebody with imagination.”
Notes：personnel director人事处长；apply申请；imagination想象力
E
A traveller was staying in an Egyptian village. One day, she held up the camera to take pictures of the children at play. Suddenly the young ones began to shout in protest.
The traveller’s face turned red and she apologized to the head for what she was doing, and told him she had forgotten that people in some places believe a person lost his soul if his picture was taken. She explained to him the operation of a camera for a long time. Several times the head tried to say something, but couldn’t.
When she believed she had put the head’s fear to rest, the traveller then let him speak. With the smile, he said,“The children were trying to tell you that you forgot to take off the lens cap!”
Notes：protest抗议；lens镜头
F
Mr Green heard that a certain government department wanted a clerk, so he wrote to ask for the position. But while he was waiting for an answer, a friend of his introduced him to the head of the department, and the head at once gave him the job.
Several months later, while Mr Green was working in the department, he got a letter that had been sent on to him from his old address. This letter said:
Dear sir,
We are sorry to have to tell you that we cannot offer you the work in this department because we do not think that you would be able to do the job successfully.
Yours Faithfully
Mr Green laughed, but when he looked at the letter more carefully, he was surprised to see that he had signed it himself!
Notes：government department政府部门；clerk职员；position职位；offer提供；sign签名
G
Long，long ago there lived a king. He was not good at drawing but he liked to draw very much. In his palace people could see piles and piles of paper. On every piece of paper was a picture, a very bad picture. Yet the king thought all his pictures were good and he often showed them to others. The people were afraid of the king and said his pictures were very beautiful. The king was very happy.
One day, the king showed some of his pictures to an artist. The artist looked at the pictures for some time and said that they were very bad. The king was very angry and put him into prison.
Some time later on his birthday the king set the artist free. He called the artist to his palace. Again the king showed the artist some of his pictures and asked him what he thought of them.
The artist looked at the pictures for some minutes. Then he turned to the soldiers standing behind him and said,“Take me back to the prison right now! Don’t keep me waiting!”
