【每期一笑】符之一笑

时间：2018-12-28 03:26:12　来源：柠檬阅读网本文已影响人

　　Job Interviewers 　　　　At the risk of never being able to find a job again, I expose the types of interviewers from hell I have had the pleasure of encountering.(遇见)。
　　The Money Minder(守财奴)
　　The interview is in its third minute. He asks:How much are you asking for??You explain what your last drawn salary is and what your financial obligations(待付款)are.
　　ow much are you asking for??You clue him in on your worth based on your experience and track record.
　　ow much are you asking for??You cite a figure.
　　ou�e asking for that much? We cannot pay that much.?He offers his hand.
　　
　　The Ignoramus(不学无术)Irritatus
　　
　　You sent in your resume(简历)six weeks ago. You completed a fivepage application form an hour ago. Then you are asked to explain what position you are interviewing for, what schools you have attended, what jobs you have held and what reasons you have for leaving them.
　　
　　The Megalomaniac(夸大狂的)
　　
　　It is not an interview. It is an invitation to permanent(永恒的)psychological（心理上的）damage.
　　The interviewer rattles（格格响）on about the largeness of the organization ,the profitability of its business, the low turnover rate of its employees, the 30year vision of its board of directors.
　　If you are fortunate, you are further enlightened upon his personal achievements in the company.
　　
　　The Panel（考官）
　　
　　You enter and meet six pairs of eyes, not counting glasses, giving you the mandatory（命令）onceover.
　　No one introduces him self.
　　The man in the center launches into a rapidfire series of questions.
　　You answer.
　　Two other men nod.
　　One woman throws in quiet observations.
　　
　　The Excuse-Me-For-A-Moment Interviewer
　　
　　He greets you. You sit.
　　You begin a discussion of your abilities and the company� needs.
　　The phone rings. xcuse me for a moment,e says. A moment works out to two minutes.
　　You resume your discussion. The phone rings---
　　
　　The Freudian（佛洛伊德的）Interviewer
　　
　　Questions are never quite relevant （相关的）,but never completely out of context either. He makes you wonder if he knows something you don.
　　How did you know we are looking for someone?
　　How do you feel about your last job?
　　Who or what do you see yourself as , if you can be someone else?
　　
　　The Two-Year-Old Interviewer
　　
　　Every question begins with hy?
　　hy do you want this jobhy did you resignhy did you do Philosophyhy should we employ youhy do you say that
　　
　　求职考官
　　
　　冒着再也找不到工作的危险，我把我谋职时有幸遇见的各种考官披露如下：
　　守财奴型
　　面试仅在三分钟内搞定。
　　他问：“你开价多少？”
　　你解释回答说你一笔提取的薪水是多少，你分期提取的薪水又是多少。
　　“你开价多少？”
　　你告诉他你的薪水应根据你的经验和业绩来决定。
　　“你开价多少？”
　　你说出了一个数字。
　　“你要价这么高？我们不可能付那么多。”他伸出手后说。
　　
　　无知可恼型
　　
　　六周前你寄上你的简历，一个小时前你填完一张5页纸的申请表。然后，要你去解释你谋求什么样的职位，你上过哪些学校，曾做过什么工作，你离职的原因。
　　
　　妄自尊大型
　　
　　这不是面试。而是请你来接受心理上的创伤。考官喋喋不休地说公司有多大，企业赢利有多高，雇员调整率有多低，以及董事会拟定的公司三十年的发展远景计划等。
　　如果你幸运的话，你会进一步了解他在公司中的业绩。
　　
　　专门小组型
　　
　　你进去就遇上6双眼睛，不包括所带的眼镜，一个个接连不断地向你发号施令。
　　没有一个人自我介绍。
　　坐在中间的考官劈里啪啦向你提出一连串问题。
　　你回答。
　　其他的两位考官点点头。
　　一个女考官静静观察着。
　　
　　劳驾稍等型
　　
　　他向你打个招呼。你坐在哪儿。
　　你开始论述你的能力和公司的需要。
　　电话铃响了。“劳驾，请稍等”，他说。这一等就磨掉了两分钟。
　　讨论继续。电话铃响了“劳驾，请稍等”。又磨去两分钟。
　　讨论再继续。电话铃又响了……
　　
　　佛洛伊德型
　　
　　所问问题不仅与求职毫无关系，而且问题之间也没有任何的关系。他使你明白他知道你不知道的东西。例如：你怎么知道我们要人？
　　你觉得你先前的工作如何？
　　如果你是别人的话，你怎么看待你自己？
　　
　　两岁小儿型
　　
　　每个问题都以“为什么”开头。
　　“你为什么要这份工作？”
　　“你为什么辞职？”
　　“你为什么学哲学？”
　　“我们为什么要雇用你？”
　　“你为什么这么说？”

【每期一笑】符之一笑

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