FunnyElves [Funny,Dialogues]

时间：2019-01-07 03:23:09　来源：柠檬阅读网本文已影响人

　　Son:Pop,will you give me ten cents for a poor man who’s outside crying? 　　Pop:OK,son,here it is. What’s he crying about?
　　Son:He’s crying:“Fresh roasted peanuts(烤花生),ten cents a bag.”
　　
　　Waitress:We have practically everything on the menu.
　　Customer:So I see. But I’d like you to bring me a clean one.
　　
　　Teacher:Mathematics is a very exact science. For example, if one man can build a house in twenty days, twenty men can build it in one day.
　　Johny: Then if one ship can cross the ocean in eight days, I suppose eight ships can cross it in one day.
　　
　　Patient:Doctor,I’m having trouble with my memory. I can’t remember a thing.
　　Doctor:How long have you had this condition(状况)?
　　Patient:How long have I had what condition?
　　
　　Teacher:Children, there will only be a half day of school this morning.
　　Pupils:Hurray(好哇)!
　　Teacher:Silence. We’ll have the other half this afternoon.
　　
　　Harry:I got a prize for being the best student in natural history.
　　Larry:How come?
　　Harry:The teacher asked how many legs an ostrich(鸵鸟) had, and I said three.
　　Larry:But an ostrich has only two legs.
　　Harry:Well,all the rest of the class said four.
　　
　　Busy boss:Miss Smith, where’s my pencil?
　　Secretary:It’s behind your ear.
　　Boss:You see I’m so busy. Tell me which ear.
　　
　　Little boy:The grocer(杂货店主)said I could help myself to some candy, but I waited until he gave it to me himself.
　　Mother:Why?
　　Little boy:His hand was bigger than mine.
　　
　　Caller:Is this one,one,one,one?
　　Absent-minded professor:No,this number is eleven eleven.
　　Caller:I’m sorry I disturbed(打扰) you at such a late hour.
　　The professor:I had to get up to answer the phone anyway.
　　
　　Slim:How do you like art class(美术课),Jim?
　　Jim:Fine,but I wish we had a smarter art teacher. Today I drew a horse, and he didn’t know what it was.
　　
　　Little Johnny to mother(after his first day at school):I’m not going to school!
　　Mother:Why not?
　　Johnny:I can’t read, I can’t write and they won’t let me talk. So what’s the use?
　　
　　Fisherman to boy: You’ve been watching me for hours. I guess you do a lot of fishing.
　　Boy:No, none at all.
　　Fisherman:Why not?
　　Boy:I haven’t got the time.
　　
　　Woman:Can you tell the truth that you didn’t take that apple from your little sister?
　　Boy:That’s right.
　　Woman:But I saw you do it.
　　Boy:Maybe. But she isn’t my sister.
　　
　　Husband:Dear, I have tickets for the theater.
　　Wife:Splendid! I’ll start dressing at once.
　　Husband:Yes, do. But the tickets are for tomorrow night.
　　
　　Teacher:Billy, what are you doing? Learning something?
　　Billy:No,Teacher. I’m listening to you.

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FunnyElves [Funny,Dialogues]

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