[ＥＮＧＬＩＳＨ　ＪＯＫＥＳ]LEARNINGENGLISH

时间：2019-01-07 03:32:03　来源：柠檬阅读网本文已影响人

　　（A）　　Ned：Why do you always wear two watches? 　　Ted：I need to see how slow the other one is.
　　（B）
　　Passenger 1：Excuse me，does this train stop at New Town?
　　Passenger 2：Yes，just watch me and get off one station before me.
　　（C）
　　Diner：Waiter，your finger is in my soup.
　　Waiter：That’s all right. It’s so used to（惯常）the heat，I hardly notice it.
　　（D）
　　Customer：I’d like to try on （试穿）that dress in the window（橱窗）.
　　Salesgirl：Sorry，madam，but you’ll have to use the dressing room（试衣间）.
　　（E）
　　Customer：There’s a fly in my tea cup，waiter. What does this mean?
　　Waiter：How do I know? I’m a waiter，not a fortune-teller（算命的人）.
　　（F）
　　Absent-minded（漫不经心的）professor：Why are you so excited，nurse?
　　Nurse：You’ve just become the father of a baby boy!
　　The professor：Well，don’t tell my wife. I want to give her a surprise.
　　（G）
　　Rudy：Why are you standing in front of the mirror with your eyes shut?
　　Judy：Oh，I just want to see what I look like when I’m asleep.
　　（H）
　　Doctor：Stop worrying so much. Forget about your troubles.Throw yourself into your work.
　　Patient：But，doctor，my work is mixing paint.
　　（I）
　　WIllie：What makes you think I’m stupid?
　　Millie：Well，yesterday when I said hello，you couldn’t think of an answer.
　　（J）
　　Teacher：Willie，what goes faster than the speed of sound besides a supersonic jet（超音速飞机）？
　　Willie：My aunt Jenny when she talks.
　　（K）
　　Sally：Why are you wearing your socks inside out（袜子反穿）？
　　Stanley：Because there’s a hole on the outside.
　　（L）
　　Farmer 1：My lazy new farmhand（雇工）broke two spade handles（铁锹柄）yesterday.
　　Farmer 2：Because of working hard?
　　Farmer 1：No，leaning（斜靠）on them.
　　（M）
　　Genius：I have just invented a way to get eggs without chickens.
　　Farmer：That’s fantastic（奇妙的）!How?
　　Genius：Raise（饲养）ducks.
　　（N）
　　Dan：Did you hear about the graduation ceremony（毕业典礼）at night school?
　　Ann：No，what about it?
　　Dan：Everybody wore a nightcap（睡帽）and nightgown（睡衣）.
　　（O）
　　Doctor：Ask the accident victim（受伤者）what his name is so we can notify（通知）his family.
　　Nurse：（a few minutes later）He says his family knows his name.
　　（P）
　　City visitor：How do you find the mosquitoes（蚊子）here in the summer?
　　Farmer：You don’t have to find them―they find you.
　　（Q）
　　Teacher：Lucy，where are you going on your winter vacation?
　　Lucy：Iceland.
　　Teacher：That’s interesting. Why did you choose Iceland?
　　Lucy：We are afraid it will melt（融化）in summer vaction.

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