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时间：2019-01-07 03:24:44　来源：柠檬阅读网本文已影响人

　　（A）　　Woman at movies: If my hat prevents（妨碍）　　you from seeing the film, I’ll remove it.
　　Man: Please don’t bother（麻烦）.Your hat is funnier than the film.
　　（B）
　　Doctor: Your pulse（脉搏）is as steady（稳定的）as a clock.
　　Patient: Well, that’s because you have your hand on my wristwatch.
　　（C）
　　Lady(to clerk): I’d like to buy a sweater for my dog.
　　Clerk: What size?
　　Lady: I have no idea.
　　Clerk: Why don’t you bring in the dog and try one on?
　　Lady: Oh, I can’t do that. I want it to be a surprise!
　　（D）
　　Taxi driver(to passenger): I forgot to turn on the meter(计程器) and I don’t know how much to charge（收费）you.
　　Passenger: That’s okay. I forgot to bring money, so I can’t pay you anyway.
　　（E）
　　Father: Where tonight’s paper?
　　Jack: I wrapped（包）the garbage（垃圾，废物）in it and threw it out.
　　Father: I wanted to see it.
　　Jack: There wasn’t much to see. Only a banana peel（果皮）, a steak bone and some fish bones.
　　（F）
　　Mother: Please close the window, son. It’s cold outside.
　　Son: If I close the window, will it be warm outside?
　　（G）
　　Herbie: Are you going to use your bike today?
　　Henry: Yes,I’m sorry.
　　Herbie: Good, then you won’t be needing your tennis racket（网球拍）. May I borrow it?
　　（H）
　　Student: Professor, how come you use three pairs of glasses?
　　Absent-minded（心不在焉的）professor: Well, one is for close work,one is for distance, and the third is to look for the other two.
　　（I）
　　Fred: My teacher does good bird imitations（模仿鸟的动作）.
　　Ted: What kind of bird?
　　Fred: She watches me like a hawk（鹰）.
　　（J）
　　Angry diner: Hey, waiter. This soup tastes like dish water（洗碗水）.
　　Waiter: How do you know? Have you been tasting dish water lately?
　　（K）
　　Old man(to boy): I’ll give you 50 cents if you can guess my age, Sonny.
　　Boy: You’re 60.
　　Old man: How did you know?
　　Boy: My dad only gives me a quarter(25 cents)and he’s 30.
　　（L）
　　Fahter (in a rage生气）：Look at all these bills（账单）!Meat, rice, vegetables...the costs keep going up all of them!I wish just one thing would go down!
　　Sam: Dad, here’s my report card（成绩单）.

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