and【Jokes,and,Humor】
时间：2019-01-11 03:21:44 来源：柠檬阅读网 本文已影响 人 
Bring Papa Teacher: For final exam this time, you can take your textbooks, your notebooks, your dictionary etc., just as you do your homework as usual.
Frank: That sounds good. Then I can take my papa here.
带爸爸
老师:本次考试,你们可以带课本、笔记本、词典等,就像你们平常做作业一样。
弗里克:太好了,那我就可以把爸爸带来了。
A Tasty Meal
A tourist in Africa sent his mother an exotic bird for her birthday. When he got back to the States, he called her. “Hi, Mom,” he said. “How’d you like the bird I gave you?”
“It was delicious.”
“You ate the bird!” the guy shrieked. “He was very expensive. He could talk!”
“Well, if he was so smart,” replied the mother, “why didn’t he say something to me?”
一顿美餐
一位在非洲旅行的美国人送给他母亲一只奇特动人的鸟为母亲祝寿。回到美国后,他打电话问道:“妈妈,你好!你喜欢我送给您的那只鸟吗?”
“太好吃了!”
“您把它吃了?!”小伙子惊叫起来,“那只鸟可贵了,它还会说话呢。”
“噢,如果它像你说的那么聪明的话,那它为什么没对我说什么呀?”母亲回答说。
A Shrewd Guess
While taking the 1993 census, I called on a woman who refused to state her age. I told her I was permitted to make an estimate. “I guess 50 is about right,” I said and pretended to write on the form.
“Don’t you dare!” she snapped. “I’m only 35.”
准确的猜测
在做1993年的人口普查时,我碰到了一位拒绝说出自己年龄的女士。我告诉她我有权作出判断。
“我认为你是50岁,没错吧?”我边说边假装往表格上写。她急了,说道:“你敢!我才35岁。”
Time for Sleeping Pills
Servant: Wake up! Sir, wake up!
Master: What’s wrong?
Servant: It’s time to take your sleeping pills.
吃安眠药的时间到了
仆人:醒一醒!先生,醒一醒!
主人:怎么回事儿?
仆人:你吃安眠药的时间到啦。
Amazing Grace
In ancient Rome, a Christian was being pursued by a lion. But as he ran through the city streets dodging back and forth, it became obvious that things were hopeless and the lion would catch him.
Clutching at straws, the helpless man turned suddenly, faced the beast and dropped to his knees.
“Lord,” he prayed, desperately. “Turn the lion a Christian!”
Instantly, the lion fell to its knees and prayed, “For what we are about to receive.”
上帝显灵
古罗马时期,一基督教徒被狮子追赶。他穿越大街,前躲后闪,但很明显,他已无生的希望。那人索性突然转过身来,面对狮子跪下来,口中念念有词:“主啊,请赶快把狮子变成基督徒吧。”说来也怪,那头狮子马上也跪在了地上,口中念道:“主啊,感谢你馈赠给我的美食!”
Real Forgetfulness
Three old ladies are sitting in a café chatting about various things. “You know,” says one lady, “I’m getting really forgetful. This morning, I was standing at the top of the stairs, and I couldn’t remember whether I had just come up or was about to go down.”
“You think that’s bad?” says the second lady. “The other day when I sat on the bed, I didn’t know whether I was going to bed or had just woken up!”
The third lady smiles smugly, “Well, my memory’s just as good as it’s always been,” she says, and she knocks the table. Then with a startled look on her face, she says, “Who’s there?”
绝对健忘
三个老妇在咖啡厅聊天。其中一个说道:“我也真够健忘的。早上出来,站在楼梯口,我竟然记不清究竟是该上去还是该下去了。”
另一个马上接着说:“你的记性就不坏了。有一天我坐在床上,竟然记不清是该睡觉还是该起床了。”
第三个老妇一脸得意:“我的记忆力倒是没什么变化。”说着敲了几下桌子。可一转脸,她便问:“谁在敲门?”
