Ｓｔｅｖｅｎ专栏|肥猪满圈专栏
时间：2019-02-16 03:31:20 来源：柠檬阅读网 本文已影响 人 
[恋爱物语] She doesn"t verbalize how much she likes me. 她没有说过她有多喜欢我。
I didn"t make a huge deal out of it.
我没有小题大做。
Am I reading too much into these incidents?
(对于这些事)我是不是想得太多了？
You can"t see the woods for the trees.
你是只见树木，不见森林。
I owed her a favor.
我欠她的情。
Never rationalize her behavior.
别为她的行为开脱。
[最近有点烦]
Hey Steven,
I"ve been dating a girl for a while and I think she"s great! Honestly speaking, I"m no expert when it comes to dating, but it is obvious that she has quite a high interest in me.
Lori calls me every day and is flirty and affectionate when we"re together. She tries to get me to talk about how much I like her. (I don"t like to do that. She doesn"t verbalize how much she likes me either, incidentally.) She asks me to do something with her practically every day, and expresses disappointment when I tell her I already have plans.
The problem lies with trust. She asked me if I trusted her, and I told her that I did because she"s never given me a reason not to. But I wasn"t exactly telling the truth, Steven. Maybe she"s testing me, or maybe it"s just my imagination, but lately I"ve picked up on some inconsistencies in her behavior. I haven"t made an issue out of any of this, but let me give you a few examples of what I"ve noticed:
1. She told me that she didn"t want to attend a wedding she was invited to, but when I left town for a weekend fishing trip, she went to the wedding anyway.
2. One night she was three hours late coming over for a date. I called her house, got no answer, and the phone beeped and disconnected. She called later (at midnight), apologized, and said that she fell asleep. She said that she accidentally shut off the answering machine the night before. (I let her know that I was upset about her tardiness, but didn"t make a huge deal out of it.)
3. A guy friend of hers called while I was at her house. She gestured to me that she didn"t want to talk to him, but ended up staying on the phone with him for half an hour.
So Steven, am I reading too much into these incidents, or should I be concerned? Should I press for explanations? Thanks, Steven!
Simon
[爱情帮你办]
Hi Simon,
There"s a simple reason why you can"t see the woods for the trees. It"s because somebody"s blowing smoke at you! And if you don"t watch yourself, you"re going to get burned. The bottom line is this: women with high interest levels never confuse their men and never give them mixed signals.
The truth says it all
But let"s start at the top. You say that Lori wants you to talk about how much you like her. What"s wrong with this girl? When a girl wants you to talk about how much you like her, tell her this: "Honey, I like you almost as much as you love me!"
And Wayne, you"re seeing the girl too much. You shouldn"t be talking to her every day. Show a little Self-Control. Be a Challenge instead of Mister On Call. Try letting Lori"s phone calls back up for three or four days. Then we"ll find out for sure whether it"s her self-esteem that"s lacking, or her interest level.
By now it should be obvious that you"ve actually got more problems in your relationship with Lori than just trust, Wayne. But let"s take a look at that issue anyway. Girls who are trustworthy never ask if you trust them. Only girls who are untrustworthy ask that question. Dr. Freud used to call it "projection." Like the girl who says to you, "Wayne, I don"t care what kind of car a guy drives" -- Ha! Really? Why would she bring the subject up in the first place if she didn"t care about your car? Remember; women don"t lie, and men don"t listen. Guys are idiots if they don"t keep their eyes and ears open.
You ask whether she"s testing you, Wayne. Sure she"s testing you -- she"s testing you to see how many more tricks she can sell you before you stop buying them!
Check out the evidence
Now, let"s look at your "incidents," one by one.
1. Regarding that wedding, all she had to tell you afterwards was, "Look, my sister wanted to go to the wedding. I didn"t want to go, but I owed her a favor." Maybe it was an oversight on her part. It is always OK for her to sleep over at her sister"s, but there is just too much to explore behind the story.
2. Regarding the second episode, this girl of yours should be writing fiction! Think about it. She accidentally shut off the answering machine? Do you know the miniscule probability of something like that happening? A girl with a great interest level falling asleep and missing a date? Come on, Wayne! You"re the one who"d better wake up!
3. As far as the third incident is concerned, why didn"t you just get up and walk out after five minutes of this conversation with the guy she supposedly didn"t want to talk to? I"ll tell you why -- because she knows she owns you, Wayne, and by staying there and enduring this humiliation, you proved it again.
Wayne, I have to say that yes, unfortunately you should be concerned about the state of things with Lori. And the explanation is, as I said at the beginning, low interest level. That"s your ultimate problem here.
Remember guys; never rationalize her behavior.
