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    【幸运的套鞋(四)】幸运的套鞋

    时间:2018-12-27 03:32:29 来源:柠檬阅读网 本文已影响 柠檬阅读网手机站

      IV A GREAT MOMENT, A VERY UNUSUAL JOURNEY   Every one who belongs to Copenhagen knows the look of the entrance to the Frederick"s Hospital in Copenhagen; but as, perhaps, a few will read this story who do not belong to Copenhagen, it becomes necessary to give a short description of it.
      The hospital is separated from the street by a tolerably high railing, in which the thick iron rails stand so far apart, that certain very thin inmates are said to have squeezed between them, and thus paid their little visits outside the premises. The part of the body most difficult to get through was the head; and here, as it often happens in the world, small heads were the most fortunate. This will be sufficient as an introduction.
      One of the young volunteers, of whom one could only say in one sense that he had a great head, had the watch that evening. The rain was pouring down; but in spite of this obstacle he wanted to go out, only for a quarter of an hour. It was needless, he thought, to tell the porter of his wish, especially if he could slip through between the rails. There lay the goloshes which the watchman had forgotten. It never occurred to him in the least that they were goloshes of Fortune. They would do him very good service in this rainy weather, and he pulled them on. Now the question was whether he could squeeze through the bars; till now he had never tried it. There he stood.
      "I wish to goodness I had my head outside!" cried he. And immediately, though his head was very thick and big, it glided easily and quickly through. The goloshes must have understood it well; but now the body was to slip through also, and that could not be done.
      "I"m too fat," said he."I thought my head would be the worst thing. I shan"t get through."
      Now he wanted to pull his head back quickly, but he could not manage it; he could move his neck, but that was all. His first feeling was one of anger, and then his spirits sank down to zero. The goloshes of Fortune had placed him in this terrible condition, and, unfortunately, it never occurred to him to wish himself free. No: instead of wishing, he only strove, and could not stir from the spot.
      The rain poured down; not a creature was to be seen in the street; he could not reach the gate-bell, and how was he to get loose? He foresaw that he would have to remain here until the morning, and then they would have to send for a blacksmith, to file through the iron bars. But such a business is not to be done quickly. The whole charity school opposite would be upon its legs; the whole sailors" quarter close by would come up and see him standing in the pillory; and a fine crowd there would be.
      "Ugh!"he cried, "the blood"s rising to my head,and I shall go mad!Yes, I"m going mad! O I wish I were free again, then mostlikely it would pass over."
      That"s what he ought to have said a littlesooner.The very moment he had uttered the thought his head was free; and now he rushed in, quite dazed with the fright the goloshes of Fortune had given him. But we must not think the whole affair was over; there was much worse to come yet.
      The night passed away, and the following day too, and nobody sent for the goloshes. In the evening a representation was to take place in an amateur theatre in a distant street. The house was crammed; and among the audience was the volunteer from the hospital, who appeared to have forgotten his adventure of the previous evening. He had the goloshes on, for they had not been sent for; and as it was dirty in the streets, they might do him good service. A new piece was recited; it was called My Aunt"s Spectacles. These were spectacles which, when any one put them on in a great assembly of people, made all present look like cards, so that one could prophesy from them all that would happen in the coming year.
      The idea struck him; he would have liked to possess such a pair of spectacles. If they were used rightly, they would enable the wearer to look into people"s hearts; and that, he thought, would be more interesting than to see what was going to happen in the next year; for future events would be known in time, but the people"s thoughts never.
       "Now I"ll look at the row of ladies and gentlemen on the first bench; if one could look directly into their hearts! Yes, that must be a hollow, a sort of shop. How my eyes would wander about in that shop!
      In every lady"s, yonder, I should doubtless find a great milliner"s warehouse; with this one here the shop is empty, but it would do no harm to have it cleaned out. But there would also be substantial shops. Ah, yes?" he continued, sighing, "1 know one in which all the goods are first-rate, but there"s a shopman in it already; that"s the only drawback in the whole shop? From one and another the word would be "Please to step in! " Oh that I might only step in, like a neat little thought, and slip through their hearts?"
      That was the word of command for the goloshes. The volunteer shrivelled up, and began to take a very remarkable journey through the hearts of the first row of spectators. The first heart through which he passed was that of a lady; but he immediately fancied himself in the Orthopaedic Institute, in the room where the plaster casts of deformed limbs are kept hanging against the walls; the only difference was, that these casts were formed in the institute when the patients came in, but here in the heart they were formed and preserved after the good persons had gone away. For they were casts of female friends, whose bodily and mental fauns were preserved here.
      Quickly he had passed into another female heart. But this seemed to him like a great holy church; the white dove of innocence fluttered over the high altar. Gladly would he have sunk down on his knees; but he was obliged to go away into the next heart. Still, however, he heard the tones of the organ, and it seemed to him that he himself had become another and a better man. He felt himself not unworthy to enter into the next sanctuary, which showed itself in the form of a poor garret, containing a sick mother. But through the window the warm sun streamed in, beautiful roses nodded from the little wooden box on the roof, and two sky-blue birds sang full of childlike joy, while the sick mother prayed for a blessing on her daughter.
      Now he crept on his hands and knees through an overfilled butcher"s shop. There was meat, and nothing but meat, wherever he went. It was the heart of a rich respectable man, whose name is certainly to be found in the directory.
      Now he was in the heart of this man"s wife: this heart was an old dilapidated pigeon-house. The husband"s portrait was used as a mere weathercock: it stood in connection with the doors, and these doors opened and shut according as the husband turned.
      Then he came into a cabinet of mirrors, such as we find in the castle of Rosenborg; but the mirrors magnified in a great degree. In the middle of the floor sat, like a Grand Lama, the insignificant I of the proprietor, astonished in the contemplation of his own greatness.
      Then he fancied himself transported into a narrow needle-case full of pointed needles; and he thought, "This must decidedly be the heart of an old maid!" But that was not the case. It was a young officer, wearing several orders, and of whom one said, "He"s a man of intellect and heart."
      Quite confused was the poor volunteer when he emerged from the heart of the last person in the first row. He could not arrange his thoughts, and fancied it must be his powerful imagination which had run away with him.
      "Gracious powers!" he sighed, "I must certainly have a great tendency to go mad. It is also unconscionably hot in here, the blood is rising to my head!"
      And now he remembered the great event of the last evening, how his head had been caught between the iron rails of the hospital.
      "That"s where I must have caught it," thought he."I must do something at once. A Russian bath might be very good. I wish I were already lying on the highest board in the bath-house."
      And there he lay on the highest board in the vapour bath; but he was lying there in all his clothes, in boots and goloshes, and the hot drops from the ceiling, were falling on his face.
      "Hi!" he cried, and jumped down to take a plunge bath.
      The attendant uttered a loud cry on seeing a person there with all his clothes on. The volunteer had, however, enough presence of mind to whisper to him, "It"s for a wager!" But the first thing he did when he got into his own room was to put a big blister on the nape of his neck, and another on his back, that they might draw out his madness.
      Next morning he had a very sore back; and that was all he had got by the goloshes of Fortune.
      (To be continued)
      
      4伟大的一刻,一次不平常的旅行
      哥本哈根的每个市民,都知道该市弗雷德里克医院的入口处的外观。不过可能有些读这个故事的人不住在哥本哈根,所以有必要简单地描述一下。
      医院和街道是用比较高的栅栏隔开的。这些粗铁栏杆之间相隔很大,据说有些很瘦的住院病人可以从两根栏杆之间穿过,好到外面去溜达一会儿。身体最难穿过的地方是头,这样的话小脑袋就占便宜了,这在世上是很常见的事儿。介绍就到此打住吧。
      有个年轻的实习医生,你一看见他,就会发觉他脑袋特别大。今天晚上他刚好值班。外面下起了倾盆大雨。但尽管如此,他还是想出去,溜达一刻钟就回来。他想,这事不必惊动门卫,特别是他觉得自己好像能够钻过栏杆,报告门卫就更显得多余了。守夜人落下的套鞋就放在他旁边。他怎么也不会想到,这是一双幸运套鞋。在这个雨天里,穿上这双套鞋正合适,于是他就套在自己的脚上。现在的问题是,自己能不能从栏杆中间挤过去,因为到目前为止他还没试过呢。他站在栏杆旁。
      “让老天保佑我的脑袋能钻出去!”他大叫道。转眼间,他轻而易举地就把头钻了过去,尽管他的脑袋又肥又大。套鞋一定知道他的愿望了吧。但身子还得钻过去,可他怎么也做不到。
      “我太胖,”他说,“我还以为自己的脑袋是最糟的,现在身体却过不去。”
      这时他想把脑袋迅速地收回来,但他也做不到。他动了动脖子,但这是他唯一可以做的了。他第一个感觉是很气愤,然后心情落到了最低点。是幸运套鞋把他弄成这个样子的。不幸的是,他从来没有发愿让自己解脱出来。不,他没有发愿,反而一个劲地挣扎,所以他怎么也动不了。
      雨还在哗啦啦地下着,街道上空空荡荡的。他够不到门铃,所以也没有办法喊人将他解脱出来。他担心自己不得不呆在这儿,一直到明天早晨。那时人们就会叫一个铁匠来,把铁栅栏打断。但这也不是轻而易举就能完成的,对面教会学校的学生一定会伸头看热闹;附近海员宿舍的居民们肯定会过来,欣赏他关在栅栏的形象。反正这儿肯定会围上一大群人的。
      “唉!”他叫道,“我的血直往上涌,我肯定是要疯了!是的,我快发疯了!噢,我真希望自己能解脱出来,那样的话我就不会变疯了!”
      他早就该说出这个愿望了。他的话刚出口,脑袋就钻过去了。他撒腿就跑,幸运的套鞋给他带来的恐惧把他给搞晕了。但我们别以为事情就这样收场,更糟的事还在后头呢。
      晚上过去了,第二天白天也平安无事,没有人来寻找套鞋。晚上,在一条偏远的街道的业余剧场,正在举办一场演出。大厅里挤满了人,观众中就有那个来自医院的实习医生,他似乎已经把头天晚上发生的事儿给忘了。他还穿着那双套鞋,因为没有人来找这双鞋。街道上很脏,这双套鞋正派上用场。有人朗颂一首新诗,题目叫“姑妈的眼镜”。谁要在一大群人面前戴上这副眼镜,就会觉得自己面前都是算命的纸牌,可以预测来年发生的事情。
      这深深地触动了他,他非常想要这样一副眼镜。如果使用得当,戴这幅眼镜的人就能看透别人的内心。他想,这可比预测来年发生的事要有趣多了。因为未来的事情只需要等一等就会清楚,但人们的思想别人却怎么也看不透。
      “现在我要看看坐在第一排的女士和先生们,能看透他们的心思该多好!是的,那肯定是个洞,或者是商店之类的东西。我一定会在这个商店里大饱眼福的。”
      “在那儿坐着的每一位女士的心里,我都必定会发现一个女帽商店。这位女士的商店里是空空的,但清理干净也没有什么坏处。但肯定会有琳琅满目的店铺。噢,一定会的!”他继续沉思着,叹了口气。“我知道其中有个店所有商品都是一流的,但里面已经有个男店员了,这是该商店的唯一缺点!所有的商品都写着‘欢迎光临!’我只管进去就行了,就像一个小小的念头那样钻进她们心里。”
      套鞋马上就接收了这个指令。实习医生缩得小小的,开始在第一排观众心里做一次不同寻常的旅行。他首先钻进的是一位女士的心里,他马上觉得自己走进了一个矫形诊所,在病房的墙上,挂着许多变形四肢的石膏模型。唯一不同的是,在诊所里,这些东西是病人入院后才做出来的。而在这位女士的心里,这是在好端端的人走了以后,才造出来并保留在那里的。这是她的女友们的模型,她们生理上和心理上的缺陷都保留在这儿。
      他很快走进另一个女士的心里。这儿像一个神圣的大教堂,圣洁的白鸽飞翔在高高的神龛上。他诚心诚意地跪了下来。但很快他又不得不离开,进入下一个人的心里。不过他仍然能听到教堂的琴声,他觉得自己变成了一个更善良的另一个人。他不觉得自己没有资格走进下一个圣地,它看起来像个破旧的阁楼,里面住着一个生病的母亲。温暖的阳光通过窗户照进来,屋顶上小木箱边漂亮的玫瑰花向他点头致意,两只天蓝色的鸟儿像孩子般快乐地歌唱着,生病的老母亲这时正在为自己的女儿祈祷呢。
      然后,他爬过一个屠夫的满当当的店铺。那儿到处是肉,他走了一通,看到的全是肉。这是一个富有的绅士的心脏,他的名字在名人录上你可以查到。
      现在他进入了这个绅士的老婆的心里,这个心房是个破旧的鸽子笼。丈夫的画像只被用作一个风向标。它贴在门上,门随着丈夫的转动,时而开着,时而关闭。
      然后他步入了一个镜子房,就像我们在卢森堡宫殿里看到的那样。但这儿的镜子把东西照得很大。在地面中央,有一个主人“我”坐在那儿,姿态就像达赖喇嘛一样,为自己的伟大而感到踌蹰满志。
      然后,他觉得自己穿进了一个窄小的针盒子,里面全是尖尖的针。他想:“这肯定是个老处女的心吧!”其实不然,这是一位年轻军官的心,他身上佩戴好几个勋章,人们说:“他是个聪明的好心人。”
      这个可怜的实习医生从第一排的最后一个人心中钻出来的时候,感到迷惑不解。他理不清自己的思路,还以为是自己的胡思乱想在作怪呢。
      “我的天!”他叹道,“我肯定是快疯了。这儿热得让人头昏,血直往我头上涌!”
      这时他记起头天晚上发生的事,他的脑袋曾被卡在医院的两个铁栏杆之间。
      “我就是在那里搞得头疼的,”他想,“我得想办法治冶。洗个俄式热水澡大有好处,我真希望自己现在就躺在浴室的最上层木板上。”
      于是他就躺在了蒸汽浴室的最上层木板上了。但他是穿着衣服、皮靴和套鞋躺在上面的。从浴室顶上落下的热水滴,打在他的脸上。
      “嘿!”他大叫一声,跳下去大洗一番。
      服务生看到一个衣冠楚楚地人跳进水池,禁不住尖叫起来。实习医生头脑倒是蛮清醒地,他悄悄地对服务生说:“我这是在和别人打赌!”不过他回到自己的房间时,做的第一件事就是在脖子上、背上各贴了一大块膏药,好吸掉他的疯狂念头。
      第二天一早,他背疼得很厉害,这都是那“幸运套鞋”惹的祸。
      (未完待续)

    相关热词搜索: 套鞋 幸运

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