开心一笑:80个短笑话 [笑话五则]
时间：2019-02-02 03:28:15 来源：柠檬阅读网 本文已影响 人 
No Problem A bald man took a seat in a beauty shop. “How can I help you?” asked the stylist. “I went for a hair transplant,” the guy explained, “but I couldn’t stand the pain. If you can make my hair look like yours without causing me any discomfort, I’ll pay you $5,000.”
“No problem,” said the stylist, and he quickly shaved his head.
没有问题
一个秃头的男人坐在美容美发店里。发型师问:“我有什么可以帮你的吗?”那个人解释说:“我本来要去做头发移植,但那样实在太疼了。如果你能够让我的头发看起来像你的一样,而且没有任何痛苦,我将付给你5,000美元。”
“没问题,”发型师说,然后他很快把自己的头剃了个精光。
I Hung Him Up to Dry
Jim and Mary were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking by the hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom. Mary promptly jumped into the water to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled him out.
When the medical director became aware of Mary’s heroic act, he immediately reviewed her file and called her into his office. “Mary, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you’re being discharged because since you were able to jump into the water and save the life of another patient, I think you’ve regained your senses. The bad news is Jim, the patient you saved, hung himself with his bathrobe belt in the bathroom, he’s dead.”
Mary replied, “He didn’t hang himself, I hung him up to dry.”
我把他吊起来让他晾干
吉姆和玛丽都是精神病院里的病人。一天,他俩正在医院的游泳池边散步,吉姆突然跳入泳池的深水区,接着沉到了池底。玛丽立刻跳下水去救他,她潜到水底,把他拉了上来。
院长听说了玛丽的英勇行为后,立刻翻看了她的病历档案,把她叫进了自己的办公室,“玛丽,我有一个好消息和一个坏消息要告诉你。好消息是你能跳入水中救其他病人,这说明你的意识已经恢复了,你可以出院了。坏消息就是,吉姆,你救的那个病人,他还是用自己的浴袍带子在浴室上吊自杀了。”
玛丽说:“他没有自杀,是我把他吊起来让他晾干。”
Five Hundred Times
In the traffic court of a large mid?鄄western city, a young lady was brought before the judge to answer a ticket given her for driving through a red light. She explained to his honor that she was a school teacher and requested an immediate disposal of her case in order that she might hasten on to her classes. A wild gleam came into the judge’s eye. “You are a school teacher, eh?” said he. “Madam, I shall realize my lifelong ambition. Sit down at that table and write ‘I went through a red light’ five hundred times.”
五百遍
在中西部一个大城市的交通法庭里,一位年轻女士被带到法官面前,她由于开车闯红灯收到了一张罚单。女士向法官解释说,她是一名学校教师,请法官马上处理她的案子,以便她可以赶回去上课。法官眼中闪出一丝狡黠,说道:“你是学校的教师,对吗?女士,我马上要实现我毕生的愿望了。在那张桌子旁坐下,写‘我开车闯了红灯’500遍。”
I’m Sure It Is Fresh
A new restaurant opened in our town, so my husband, Walter, and I decided to try it. As the waitress took our order, Walter asked if the coffee was fresh. “I’m sure it is,” answered the waitress. “We’ve only been open two weeks.”
我担保这咖啡很新鲜
我们镇上开了家新餐馆,我丈夫沃尔特和我决定去尝尝鲜。女招待来拿我们写的菜单时,沃尔特问餐馆的咖啡是否新鲜。“绝对新鲜,”女招待回答说,“我们开张才两个星期呀。”
Key to Success
One day a father was teaching his son and said, “The keys to your success are keeping your word and cleverness. Once you give somebody a promise, you must carry it out no matter what will happen. This is called ‘keeping one’s words.”
“What is cleverness?” asked his son.
“Cleverness is that you’ll never make such a promise,” the father answered.
成功的关键
一天,父亲教育儿子说:“一个人成功的关键就是严守诺言和聪明才智。一旦你给了别人承诺,无论发生什么事,你都得实现自己的诺言,这个就叫‘信守诺言’。”
儿子问:“那么什么是聪明才智呢?”
父亲回答:“聪明才智就是任何时候都别做这样的承诺。”
